Monday 7 May 2018

lacuna (or alternatively, bits and pieces)

noun an unfilled space; a gap

they say that each of us
are the pieces 
of people we've met
some pieces are good
some are bad
but it doesn't matter
because we are collections of both
bits of stolen stardust
i like to call them

i often wonder
which pieces i took from you
would you recognise them
if you saw them in me?
the jaded 
the broken
the brilliant
would it comfort you
or would it make
your toes curl 
i guess it depends
entirely 
on which pieces of you
i took

in the end
i don't suppose it matters
which pieces of you i took
or how many pieces of you i took
because they will never be able
to fill the cavities 
left in my heart 
from the pieces of me
you took.

they were the best pieces.

Friday 23 March 2018

hubris

lick your wounds
and suck it up
face it –
you can’t learn everything

it hurts to know
that I can’t learn everything
but it hurts more to know that
other people are learning
more than I am

gore
gash
wound
this infernal pride of mine

this
throbbing
dissatisfaction
this bitter taste of defeat

bite back your tongue
chew on your folly
swallow your unhappiness

but don’t let it swallow you whole

this
unending
misery
this bilious taste of regret

I feel like I’m about to be sick
quick
before I choke
on my inferiority complex

pride cometh before a fall
i know
divine retribution
awaits me
                                                       m.y.

gardening for dummies

gardening for dummies

sometimes I open my mouth to speak
but no words come out
instead I choke on the fluttering wings
of the butterflies in my stomach
I desire emotional connection
but shy away from human contact
like a withdrawn mimosa plant
I plant my hopes like seeds
and water them with tender care
waiting for them to come to fruition
but my fingers are not green
and everything I touch
seems to crumble back into the soil
despite this
I grasp onto my goals and dreams
with what little ambition I have
like tendrils intertwining themselves
around large trees
seeking sunlight in unlikely places
you can’t blame a plant for wanting to grow
the same way
you can’t tame a heart filled with wildflowers
because no matter how often
they get trampled on
they still bloom by sheer force of will
the strength of a plant
is not to be underestimated
it is perfectly acceptable
to remove toxic people from your life
the same way you would
weeds from a garden
raking out the negativity
is a form of self-love
so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
above all,
do not be afraid to be in full bloom
let yourself be excited,
exercise fervency and love ferociously,
foolishly
and if everyone else laughs,
so be it.
liverworts that grow in shallow water
with shallow mind sets
will always be in envy of
flowers that bloom.
learn to embrace the rain
as ardently as you do the sun
because both are needed
for plants to grow.
someday I hope to look back on
how much I’ve grown
and be able to truly say that
I sprouted from the concrete.

                                                              m.y.



Monday 1 May 2017

the night we met

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,
haunted by the ghost of you.”

you walk into the room
and suddenly it’s hard to breathe
a function so autonomic
disrupted by
my sympathetic
feelings towards you
the fight or flight response kicks in
do i stay or do I go?
everything inside me screams
run
but
i don’t
just this once
i don’t want to run
just this once
i want to stay by your side
would you rather love someone
and have them taken away from you
or never have loved them at all?
just this once
i don’t want to have to choose
i reach for your hand
and your touch
ignites a star
in my dimmed heart
don’t let me go
like i let go of you
we dance to a slow song
and you lean into my chest
all i hear is your heartbeat
and i swear
for the first time in my life
i am at peace in the madness.


“take me back to the night we met.”

note: this piece is roughly inspired by the song 'the night we met' and the netflix series '13 reasons why'. while i do not agree with some parts of the series, it was an enlightening watch nevertheless.