the night we met

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,

haunted by the ghost of you.”

you walk into the room

and suddenly it’s hard to breathe

a function so autonomic

disrupted by

my sympathetic

feelings towards you

the fight or flight response kicks in

do i stay or do I go?

everything inside me screams

run

but

i don’t

just this once

i don’t want to run

just this once

i want to stay by your side

would you rather love someone

and have them taken away from you

or never have loved them at all?

just this once

i don’t want to have to choose

i reach for your hand

and your touch

ignites a star

in my dimmed heart

don’t let me go

like i let go of you

we dance to a slow song

and you lean into my chest

all i hear is your heartbeat

and i swear

for the first time in my life

i am at peace in the madness.

“take me back to the night we met.”

note: this piece is roughly inspired by the song 'the night we met' and the netflix series '13 reasons why'. while i do not agree with some parts of the series, it was an enlightening watch nevertheless.

animals

“and i talk nicely to them and try and get them to come closer.”

we are four years old

it’s our first school trip together

i tell you i’m most excited to see the tigers

but you being you

are more interested in the

galapagos tortoise

we sit together in the bus

and you hold my hand

i offer you a bag of gummy snakes

but we both know your mother

hates candy

maybe that’s why she hates me

i’m too candy-sweet

daydream

you’re bitter lemon

harsh reality

kids aren’t meant to pet the tigers

but i just wanted to be friends with them

i start to cry

fierce, roaring tears

you and your hard tortoise shell

are already accustomed to my tantrums

you put your arm around my shoulder

though you are shorter than me

you run off

and return with tiger and tortoise plush toys

a wide grin from eye to eye

on your boyish face

you look pleased with yourself

you tell me

the tiger’s name is

rory

and the tortoise’s name is

george

i wonder if you still keep george

because rory lives on my bed

and hasn’t left since

i was four

it’s a shame

i can’t say the same

about you.

“hey, we are elephants, we love giraffes.”

note: this piece is roughly inspired by the song 'animals' by bath.